My weekends for the summer are full. Full of bike rides and hanging with friends and making music … making hay while the sun shines. I was talking with someone recently who was telling me of someone they knew who was making all sorts plans and then suddenly died. “Do all of it now!” she said. I think I was taken back a bit - but the message of 'do the fun and important stuff now' came across.
I appreciate the phrase “doubt your doubts” more and more the older I get. If I think too hard on anything - I’ll ruin it. Like breathing - if I think about it, I’ll end up passing out. When I get so worked up about vacations and packing and planning, I usually end up forgetting important stuff (like underwear). People who just “do”* and deal with the consequences I think are happier. But this is where I need to appreciate doubting (second guessing) my doubts (what I know to be true without obsessing about it) and trust my instincts. Quint Studer - organizational excellence guru - used to say when people asked him for advice - “What would you do?” because he knew that most of the time (like 90%) people are wired to make the right decisions. They just lack confidence.
How do “making plans” and “lacking confidence” tie together? I remember talking to a friend a while ago who would make these big plans and then never follow through. She missed out on so much. I have friends who missed reunions and regretted not going because of how much fun everyone had. How much stuff do we miss either because we don’t think we can do it, or can’t find the time, or just ignore it until it passes? My sister said to me yesterday - “I need to work out”. I said - “I never WANT to work out but I’ll start by putting on my workout clothes and telling myself I don’t have to do anything. Then I’ll tell myself, just drive to the fitness center, you don’t have to work out if you are not feeling it. Then I tell myself - just walk for a couple of minutes on the treadmill - you can stop if you have to … pretty soon I’m done with a full workout. I doubted my doubts.”
I remember Dad telling me after mom died (at age 64), “We should have moved to a better house; we should have taken more vacations; we should have spent more time enjoying life …” Yep, live life today. Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee.
*with no lists, which gives me anxiety … I live for lists.
